


roses

by JujuRotfuchs



Series: of Angels and Eagles [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Forbidden Love, Gangs, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mafia AU, Mentions of Violence, Modern Setting, Romeo and Juliet References, Russian Mafia, Songfic, gangs at war, otayuri - Freeform, yoimusicweek, yoimusicweek2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:19:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JujuRotfuchs/pseuds/JujuRotfuchs
Summary: „I just don’t understand how it’s possible to love another human with such a force that everything else feels blurry and faded in comparison.“ Yuri choked out as he stared at Otabek with wet lashes and Otabek leaned down and kissed him again because he didn’t understand it either but he felt it just as strongly in his aching chest.Or: As the heirs of two powerful families at war with each other, Otabek and Yuri can’t love each other the way they do.





	roses

**Author's Note:**

> Day 6 of YOI music week: 2010's

The day was barely dawning when Otabek woke up again, pale blue light shimmering behind the white curtains of the small motel room, mixing with the washed out oranges from the lamps down on the street. It was quiet, peaceful.  
If he were to stand up now to open a window, he would hear nothing except for a few crashing waves, a passing car from time to time and the slight whistle of a breeze coming from the sea. In a few hours, when the sun would start to rise, seagulls would scream while they circled above the water but in this moment, the approaching day seemed so far away from Otabek - it might as well belonged to another lifetime.  
  
In his world, he lived for the quiet hours of pale blue, of stolen moments. Of whispers and secrets, even if he wished that it wouldn’t have to be like that.In moments like that, they could pretend that the world around them didn’t exist, that they were all alone.  
They had dreamed it together, just the two of them on an island, on a boat in the middle of the sea. Sitting on the moon far away, jumping from star to star. A hole in the ground where no one would find them, a tower so high up in the sky that the clouds would hide them from all eyes. A home between the strong roots of a tree, or just them deep down in the sea, curled up in the darkness like a sleeping baby in the womb.  
  
They could only dream in the moments they had stolen for themselves and time did them the favor and stopped for them, just before she took everything back by speeding up again and ripping them apart.  
His thoughts made Otabek tighten his arms around the sleeping boy on his chest, his fingers carefully stroking through light hair that looked silver in the approaching morning light. The sight made Otabek swallow, he looked so much like his cousin right now. But if he were to open his eyes, gleaming green would meet him instead of icy blue.  
  
Otabek pressed his own eyes close, trying to get rid of the direction his thoughts were threatening to wander off to. This moment was theirs and the last thing he wanted to think about was their families. Otabek opened his eyes again, feeling unable to sleep despite the exhaustion that was trying to weight him down. He could sleep later, for now, he wanted to look at Yuri.  
They had fallen asleep naked, bodies wrapped into the white sheets of the motel and Yuri’s pale skin seemed to be glowing in the dim light, goosebumps rising on his back where the blanket had slipped off his shoulder. Otabek gently pulled him closer, trying to wrap him up in his arms and back into the blanket as good as he could without waking him up. Yuri looked so peaceful when he was deeply asleep like this, no worries swimming in his large eyes and no fear visible on his young face that he was desperately trying to stop showing.  
Otabek wanted to hold on to that for a bit longer. He pressed his lips against the temple of his lover and inhaled the scent of his long hair.  
  
The first time Otabek had laid eyes on Yuri, he thought he had seen an angel. Even younger than he was now, only wearing a really big white shirt that looked like a dress on him and some worn leather boots, his golden hair a messy halo. Back then Otabek had mistaken him for a girl, a homeless one maybe or maybe a real angel, freshly fallen down to earth if those confused wide eyes were anything to go by.  
  
Back then Otabek hadn’t known that Yuri actually was an _Angel_ , a child of the legendary Plisetsky-Nikiforov family that reigned over Russia’s underworld and therefore, his sworn enemy.  
The feud between them and Otabek’s family was a war both of them had been thought about before they could even properly walk and Otabek had practically been fed with hate towards them like it was part of his mother’s milk.  
  
A war that hadn’t been able to keep Otabek and Yuri apart. Hatred that appeared pale and faded under their blooming, burning love.  
  
Yuri’s cousin Victor was the heir of the Russian Mafia. Young, beautiful and dangerous. Ready to take over as soon as their guardian Yakov grew too old to rule. Yuri was one of his _Angels_ , _Agape_. The apple of his eye, unconditionally loved, untouched.  
  
Victor would skin Otabek alive if he knew just how many times he had touched his beloved cousin.  
  
Victor’s other _Angel_ was _Eros_ , the only one who could apparently melt that icy heart of his. _Agape_ and _Eros_ together became the symbol of Victor’s power. A dark and a light _Angel_ , both beautiful and deathly, clinging to each other like yin and yang in an innocent hug with their black and white wings spread out behind him.  
Victor’s army of _Angels_ was, of course, way bigger, a more than serious threat to Otabek’s family and therefore Kazakhstan, but _Agape_ and _Eros_ were special, important. If Victor was a god, they were his archangels. Otabek closed his eyes, his fingers drawing patterns over Yuri’s naked skin in an attempt to calm himself down again.  
  
His leather jacket that laid somewhere in this room on the ground, showed the symbol of his own family sewn in bright colors all over the back. It had been a gift to Otabek from his father when he had become the head of their organization, back when Otabek was just a boy. The jacket had been way too big for him back then of course but he could remember how proud he was of it, how he couldn’t wait to get taller and grow enough muscles to fit into it.  
These days, Otabek felt nauseous from just looking at it: It was the Eagle of Kazakhstan diving down with spread wings and extended claws, a hungry gleam in his eyes and his beak open wide, ready to attack. It was chasing after a terrified Angel, ripping its wings out without mercy and coating the white feathers in blood.  
Otabek had this reoccurring nightmare where his father was chasing after Yuri, hooking his claws into his pale skin and ripping his golden wings out with laughter while Yuri screamed and cried and cursed Otabek for ever laying eyes on him.

„Beka?“ Otabek ripped his clenched eyes open at the sound of the sleepy voice, trying to get his heartbeat to calm down.  
  
„I'm here Yura.“ Otabek said. _I’m here, you’re here, we’re alright._ „Go back to sleep love.“ He whispered, rubbing his back.  
  
„Beka? Look at me.“ Otabek did, turning his head. Yuri was looking up at him with his cat-eyes, wide and awake like he hadn’t been asleep seconds before. „Your heart is racing.“ It wasn’t a question, Yuri could feel it from where he was laying on Otabek’s chest. He didn't ask why it was racing, he knew it. He saw it in his eyes. Otabek didn't know but Yuri had similar dreams too, dreams in which Otabek got hurt because of him.  
  
In lieu of saying anything else, Yuri lifted himself slightly and leaned over Otabek, kissing him deeply. Otabek sighed, closed his eyes and slid his hands into Yuri’s hair to hold his head while they moved their lips against each other at a slow, sensual pace. The taste of Yuri was so familiar yet so exciting as he pushed his tongue into his mouth, enjoying the lazy drag of heat as it met Yuri’s. Unlike last night, they kissed without hurry and desperation but with more meaning and messages, letting their tongues tell the things that they couldn’t bear to say out loud.

  
  
_I could've chose anybody but I chose you_

_Help me get better, you pull me right out of the blue_

_And daddy don't like you but daddy and I never speak_

_Every night when I wake up I need you to get back to sleep_  
  
  
  
Otabek wanted to be strong for Yuri just like Yuri wanted to be strong for him but the truth was that he was terrified. Every day he had to spend without Yuri, slowly drove him insane and whenever they were together, he half expected the doors to burst open at any given moment.  
  
If anyone would see Otabek touching Victor’s symbol of angelic purity, Victor would hunt him down with a pack of wolves and break him every bone in his body before cutting his skin open and pouring acid into the wounds until he either died of exhaustion or starvation.  
  
And if anyone were to find Yuri in Otabek’s bed, a boy _and_ one of Victor’s most treasured _Angels_ , Otabek’s father would probably let all of his filthiest men have his way with Yuri, beating him up and raping him while forcing Otabek to watch. He would make sure to film this act of violence before sending the video to Victor with a golden bow on top.  
  
Otabek wished that these fears were only products of his vivid fantasy but he knew his father too well for that. And he had seen what Victor did to his enemies now that he was here in St. Petersburg, pretending to keep an eye on the Russians for his father when really, he just needed to be close to Yuri.  
  
He knew that Yuri was terrified of the day that Victor’s spies would discover Otabek’s true identity and his connection to Yuri. From then on it would only be a matter of time before Victor would get his icy hands on him to let him feel his wrath with all his might. And Otabek was just as scared that Yuri would one day come home to a bouquet of pristine white roses splattered with blood red drops - the signature warning of Otabek’s father and therefore, a death sentence.  
  
  
  
_Smells like roses to me_  
  
_Two young lovers at sea_  
  
_Tastes so bitter and so sweet_  
  
_You're my bang, together we go bang bang bang_  
  
  
  
What they were doing was more than foolish. They risked their lives by being together, risked the start of a war but there was no other way for them to life. They had both agreed a long time ago that if they died, they died but before that, they would be together.  
They _had_ to be together, it wasn’t like they hadn’t tried to resist, to fight their feelings and when it became clear that there was no point in doing so, they still had tried to stay away from each other in order to save their lives.  
  
Until they realized that death couldn’t be worse than being separated from each other.  
  
But deciding so didn’t mean that they weren’t afraid. All the secrets and the hiding was wearing them out, making them jumpy and easily irritated. Yuri wore permanent violet shadows under his eyes, Otabek chewed his nails down to the flesh. Yuri, who had a thing for sharp weapons of all kinds, always slept with a knife beneath his pillow. Otabek, who once earned himself a nasty gash after he tried to surprise Yuri by grabbing him from behind, often didn’t sleep at all.  
  
Yuri kissed him harder, demanding all his attention like he sensed the restlessness of Otabek’s thoughts. With a growl, he ripped at the blanket that was stuck between them before climbing completely over Otabek, pushing their naked bodies together as he lowered himself back down again until their warm skin was touching all the way down from their chests to their tangled legs. Long hair was smoothly gliding over Otabek’s shoulders as Yuri moved his head to catch more kisses, he felt the heart of his lover hammering against his own ribs.  
Otabek’s hands slid down to hold Yuri around the waist, enjoying how goosebumps rose against his fingertips, how Yuri pressed into his touch. _His_ Yuri, who looked like an angel but held the devil behind his pretty eyes. Who was worshipped and respected as this creature of chastity that Victor put on a pedestal but had the dirtiest mouth Otabek ever heard, who wasn’t pure and untouched at all but wanted to he held down and put on a fight at the same time. _His_ Yuri who was a loaded gun but somehow melted when they kissed like this, his Yuri who was all sharp teeth but whispered the sweetest things into Otabek’s ears when they were alone like this.  
  
„Kiss me.“ Yuri gasped, using his weight to push Otabek deeper into the mattress and Otabek did like he was told. „Kiss me deeper, more…never stop. Otabek, _kiss me_.“ Yuri kissed over the corners of Otabek’s mouth, all over his jaw and up to his cheekbones. „I want you to eat me alive, I want you closer. I want you to kiss me until the sun understands that it can never rise again until the night understands that it will need to keep us hidden.“  
  
„Shhh.“ Otabek whispered before he caught Yuri’s lips once more, a little salty from the sea. A little salty from tears. He dug his fingers into Yuri’s skin, rolling them over so he could be the one to cover Yuri’s body with his. Yuri arched up to him, pulling him back down, pulling him against him. Wrapping his arms around Otabek and clinging to him like he was going to be ripped away from him at any second.  
  
„I need you to be closer. I want to crawl inside of you, I want my chest to crack open and pull you in to keep you with me. I want our souls to blend in together and become one because everything that I am, already belongs to you.“ Yuri whispered with a shaky voice, nuzzling against Otabek’s neck, tangling his long fingers into his dark hair. Kissing him again. „I just don’t understand how it’s possible to love another human with such a force that everything else feels blurry and faded in comparison.“ Yuri choked out as he stared at Otabek with wet lashes and Otabek leaned down and kissed him again because he didn’t understand it either but he felt it just as strongly in his aching chest.

  
  
_You could've chose anybody but you chose me_  
  
_Hiding in bed since, cause no one around us agrees_  
  
_And I feel romantic cause since morning I've been acting wild_  
  
_Shall we eat all the poison and leave all the questions behind_  
  
  
  
They only had a few more hours until the sun would rise again and then they would sneak back into their cages, putting on masks and keep playing games until they would find another gap in time they could steal for themselves to wrap and hide them away in.  
Otabek would put his shoulder-holster back on and slip into his jacket with the dying angel on the back without looking at it, before forcing a stone-cold look back on his face that told nothing of the crushing grip he felt around his lungs whenever he had to say goodbye to Yuri again, not knowing when or if he would see him again.  
And Yuri would brush the knots from his hair and precisely hide any marks Otabek might’ve left on his body. Strapping his knives back around his thighs and slipping them back into the shaft of his boots. He would hold his breath as they separated, attempting to stop himself from crying this way. Yuri knew all too well that his eyes couldn’t look red-rimmed when he returned home. Then he would fly back to Victor like a feather carried by the wind.  
  
  
  
_Smells like roses to me_  
  
_Two young lovers at sea_

_Tastes so bitter and so sweet_

_You're my bang, together we go bang bang bang_  
  
  
  
There were days when Otabek felt like they were going in circles, only existing until they had a chance to get back together. Every second in between was filled with the desperate search for a way out, with thoughts about how they could change this hell they were trapped in, discussions and plans of flights, fights and rebellion before he threw all of them out of the window again and nearly went insane because there was no place they could run, no chance to fight and no way they could ever survive the turmoil it would need to make the system of the underworld collapse around them.  
  
He knew that it was harder for Yuri too, that he sometimes wondered why Otabek would get through all this trouble to be with him. He was younger, more insecure. And while Otabek had long ago started to hate his cruel and cold father, Yuri genuinely loved Victor because Victor loved him back in a way that lost little children needed to be loved. Yuri loved Victor just as much as he hated him for keeping him away from Otabek and making him fear for their lives with every heartbeat.  
  
There were days when Otabek hoped that their secret would never get discovered and there were days where he wished that they would finally get caught, just so the torturous waiting for the inevitable to happen would stop.  
  
Some days he wondered how long it took for someone to lose his mind.  
  
This world they were raised in was so toxic, it was poisoning Otabek and Yuri before they even had a chance to understand what was happening around them. They were both violent and reckless, easy with their anger and even quicker with hatred that grew way too fast in a place like this.  
They fought each other just as passionately as they loved afterward and most of their arguments were caused by the doom that hung over them like heavy clouds of rain. Their situation was hopeless and they knew it but neither of their families raised them to believe that giving up and stop fighting was an option, so neither of them even thought about it.  
  
  
  
_And all the chemicals and alcohol make for a volatile love_  
  
_But stay with me, just stay with me_  
  
_And I never wanna lose you but I feel that this closeness will tear us apart_

 _But stay with me, stay with me_  
  
  
  
It was quiet, peaceful in the blue light filtering through the small motel room. The only sounds to be heard came from the exchange of hungry kisses and the rustling of two loves rolling around in a warm bed while they devoured each other, whispering sweet dreams against each other's skin until they eventually managed to make each other forget about their worries. Even if it was just for a few more hours.  
  
Tangled in cheap cotton-sheets and each other, they kissed until their hearts raced for different reasons than fear and their thoughts went calm and quiet, save for the love and admiration they felt for each other. And time stopped for them once more while the clock continued to tick.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The song I chose for this is James Arthur's & Emeli Sandé's 'roses' which you can listen to [ here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1p8GoEeFhg)  
> It was released in 2013. It's been one of my favorite songs for a while but because they took it off spotify for some reason, I forgot about it for a while. When I heard it again, everything about it screamed angsty Otayuri to me. 
> 
> I have good news for everyone who liked this fic. Tomorrow is the last day of music week and as it's 'free choice' I decided to write a second part to this! So subscribe to not miss the continuation of my Mafia AU :) I hope you liked it.


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